I've been feeling really bad lately, and I'll try my best not to turn this into a shit post about how I feel like shit. It's almost as if I'm completely lost and have no idea what's going on, like I can't even remember what I did last week, or who my friends are, or who I am. So that's why I feel the need to write things down right now. I guess that's why so many famous writers are alcoholics; it forces them to write in order to remember.
Food has started to disgust me. My girlfriend made me a cookie pie a few days ago, but as soon as I saw it I felt sick. I ended up eating a piece, and afterwards I felt horrible. Not physically sick, just bad. Is it possible to get blisters on top of blisters? I have blisters on my feet...
That's another thing I should talk about: my girlfriend. I don't think she knows about this blog, though I'll choose my words carefully incase she does. I really don't know why I'm dating her. I know things will go nowhere. She had a crush on me, and I just thought it would be better than being alone, but really nothing has changed.
My English teacher says it's the winter that makes people sad. I've heard that before: Seasonal affective disorder. Maybe that's why I feel bad. Maybe I just need more light.
"When you close your eyes, you see darkness. But if you keep them closed for long enough, and concentrate hard, you'll see light."
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