Gutting The Fawn

2010-11-01T17:24:00.000-07:00

2010-10-18T20:28:00.000-07:00

I found some film so I printed it.
I didn't take any of these pictures, nor do I personally know the original photographers.

2010-10-14T14:47:00.000-07:00

My new favourite shirt. Also here is my reading list:

2010-10-03T20:43:00.001-07:00

I royally fucked up my first roll of Holga film. I shot it with the 6x6 mask in, but on the 4.5x6 setting. I shouldn't have shot my first roll while high. Though, maybe it was a good idea. It makes it more special. Regardless, I'm going to have some extreme multiple exposers. From now on I'm not going to bother with the masks. I'll just shoot freestyle, unless I really want to shoot 4.5x6.

2010-09-28T18:36:00.000-07:00

2010-09-20T21:49:00.000-07:00

2010-09-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

2010-09-06T14:15:00.000-07:00

2010-09-03T17:04:00.001-07:00

2010-09-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

2010-09-03T12:58:00.001-07:00

Come, Sweet Death

2010-09-01T17:23:00.000-07:00

2010-08-30T19:13:00.000-07:00

Recently I've been juxtaposing audio and video that don't compliment each other in order to create a feeling of cognitive dissonance in the viewer.

These are them:

The cottage pictures have been delayed due to a processing error.

2010-08-27T21:05:00.000-07:00

We spent two weeks in the woods. Photos were a collective effort of Me, Sam, or whoever was sober enough to operate the camera.

Film photos from my camera should be up in two days at the latest.

Add some black metal and grindcore and this might as well have been the soundtrack to the fortnight:

Story Of Isaac † † Haunted House MIX by Story of Isaac

2010-08-23T02:37:00.000-07:00

2010-07-29T21:51:00.000-07:00

I just got back from the Testament/Megadeth/Slayer concert.

I got a Slayer shirt and caught a Jeff Hanneman pick.

2010-07-28T20:49:00.000-07:00

I made these while I was high.

2010-07-23T23:04:00.001-07:00

2010-07-08T18:52:00.000-07:00

2010-07-04T12:19:00.000-07:00

2010-06-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

Drunk Writings

He always knows what's going on, but all the time he tries to express what's going on he writes it in a bracket,

Fine, i see how it is.

This nail is going to break really soon,-

- oh, why?

too much use

(you use so much, why don't you just deflate it)

reflate?

- no, not reflate, just deflate. Destroy the memory.

Destroy this travesty, take my grass lawn mowed cross eyed and eat it.

- Tastes bad, where are you?

You can't imagine where I am, I hate it stop.

- You're just in pain, and i feel it too.

Hopscotch in my hair, and you're tired.

- I bet you won.

Won what?

- Wild. Magic, you're eyes are open

But they're not seeing anything

- I am the product of being awake, I am the product of aforementioned meanings,

I am a product, I am misunderstanding

- Misunderstanding spins like records around round round

I don't understand and I don't see how.

- We will feel paralyzed and parallel.

Good.

II.

More wrote read write with wither,

Drink the rest, feel the wrist of our miscarriage.

Is this is the greatest, the fawn of believable gods.

(G)ods, for frauds,

We've only slept for frost fritten hours,

For fears rest on shoulder peak, peak, breaking eyes,

Words glimmer and also break the spot of blind eyes blind,

Lady Macbeth Gagago Romarez feels the wright,

Parallel to those who past horrid lies,

Feel guild down their spines,

Feel paralyzed and forget fagot,

Spines feel words that just break,

Food fears and bumblebees,

Lights lost between trees and fairy tales of troubled teeth,

A light between the forest's teats,

Is bugging me with too much,

Too much faith for one's man breach,

Or what are drugs to sleep the reach,

Skill faked fire of foresee we reach,

It tastes like God and Christmas and drugs till we're blind,

Plus fords fear fathers sucks touche.

The place we right for others to sleep right on feelings.

Gym class muscles feel far sight some times,

I'll be horrid and scams fore the frightless fearlings of fordinggalllz.

Or lost pirates of fearingglove,

Foring fails

Fucking gaols of night skill freeedom.

Fear feathered foreskins or have is said too much to kill you?

Foring nights on fortingdale FFFFFFFF

Skills to thrill the kill cult of nights between the overskale night hail mid night soft forefeet of copper.

Or such we thought, before the night fort night of killer ancestors that did not believe the same things we did or thought we would want to believe.

So suck or fucks or cunt sweet cunt breath of courtship courtliness datelnear south directional absinthe or abdrinks mortal break space for kill or nothing regular drunk bitch face the reality of sober suffering of kindred feelings of self-defiance.

2010-06-27T22:48:00.000-07:00

You know how everyone is obsessed with 3D stuff? Movies, games, porn etc...

Well, that "new" technology, the 3D effect without the glasses, isn't that new. It's been around for a while.

The reason it wasn't implemented was because they found out it gave children vision problems. It didn't enhance adult vision either. Something about how it stresses the eye muscles... eye fatigue from focusing on non existent depths... muscles in the eyes of children aren't fully formed. The point is they'll get vision problems. Nintendo put forth a disclaimer, but who's really going to pay attention to that?

So this upcoming generation will not only be deaf from headphones, but will also be blind from 3D videogames.

Buy stocks in hearing aids and optometry.

2010-06-26T22:17:00.000-07:00

More photos from the zine.

2010-06-23T15:39:00.000-07:00

Some photographs from the new zine.

2010-06-20T15:20:00.000-07:00

New Zine. View fullscreen.

2010-06-20T13:45:00.000-07:00

New zine soon. These are outtakes from it.

2010-06-18T19:38:00.000-07:00

2010-06-16T22:48:00.000-07:00

My old zine (from about a year ago) in glossy internet publication form.

2010-06-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Collages. May make a photography zine soon.

2010-06-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

2010-06-11T13:44:00.000-07:00

Pictures I'm too lazy to develop in a darkroom. There will be no darkroom stuff until next September by the way.

2010-06-10T16:32:00.000-07:00

Some old pictures. I don't know why I didn't upload them before.

2010-06-03T20:48:00.001-07:00

2010-06-02T16:28:00.000-07:00

I have a remix on this single.

You can download the remix for free here (click). It's the WOLF 3D one.

2010-06-02T15:33:00.000-07:00

More darkroom. I love the mistakes. Dirty film and accidental exposure.

2010-06-01T20:13:00.000-07:00

A collection of screen caps from a short film Katharine and I made.

2010-05-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

Here's the newest darkroom photo. I didn't develop this one, a friend did (and she got it all dirty), but I did shoot and expose it, my friend just put the exposed paper in the chemicals.. I'll probably have two more either tomorrow or next week.

I recently did a music performance. It went really well, even though I only got to play one of the two songs I had prepared. The second one broke right before I was about to perform it (missing media files etc), but other than that everyone liked my performance. Unfortunately there was no documentation of the event, so you'll just have to trust me when I say that it was good.

I've been thinking about vinyl lately, ever since I got Captain Beefheart's Trout Mask Replica on vinyl when I went to New York City. I love listening to vinyl records, though my receiver is broken, so I can't right now. So, while I wait for a new one or to get it fixed, I made a collage of all the records I have:

Yup. Four. I plan on getting some more once I get the money. I really want some cheap obscure punk ones.

2010-05-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

Photoshop practice

2010-05-22T16:00:00.000-07:00

A collection of noise songs I made over the past few months is now up for download. It's not really a complete album, more of a project in music creation. A collection of sounds.

Download here (click)

2010-05-22T14:57:00.000-07:00

I had my frist real performance yesterday. I think it went well, aside from the fact that my second song didn't work due to "missing audio files" which were there the previous day.

I have a bunch of new noise songs that I'll upload either later today or sometime this weekend.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to get my print from the darkroom, so I wont be able to upload it to Monday at the earliest. But we have a found a cool effect that I'll probably use in the future. If you put a piece of paper with some words or a black and white image overtop of the photo paper while developing, wherever there is black ink on the paper, it will dodge, resulting in the words or image appearing over the photo. I'd like to do something with this later on.

I also planned on developing a negative that accidentally got dirty and stained. I think it'll look nice.

Seggie gave me an awesome poster of Patti Smith. In return I gave him a Kandy Kebab and a Richard Simmons Tonin' Ring.

Unfortunately I couldn't find a non-watermarked version of the poster.

2010-05-16T19:52:00.001-07:00

I'm still alive.

2010-04-26T18:37:00.000-07:00

This is my first darkroom print. I like how it came out. I might try reprinting it though.

2010-04-24T12:34:00.000-07:00

Hazy days.

I've been spending a lot of time in the darkroom. Hopefully I'll have something to show from it soon.

2010-04-10T20:59:00.001-07:00

2010-04-05T22:15:00.000-07:00

Nothing is real. And all I want is something to be real. I'm so fucking terrified. I feel like a geode in an ocean of black ink and I'm not sinking. The sky is the colour of rainbow sorbet, but it begins to reflect the ocean. The black is leaches sucking up colours. But it makes no difference, the colours were as real as the blackness. My brain is a filter and it chooses what I prercive. My thoughs are laid out on a platter, as if I could not eat the ones I don't like the taste of, but that would be rude, and I am forced to eat them all. I eat my thoughts and take a step back and all of a sudden, nothing is real. I just want something to be fucking real.

2010-03-30T19:29:00.000-07:00

2010-03-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

2010-03-28T09:46:00.001-07:00

All I want is to make other people happy.

But whenever I try it fails.

So I decided to be reckless and to try to drink myself into non-existence.

But that obviously didn't work.

And that's my only explanation.

2010-03-25T20:28:00.000-07:00

2010-03-23T18:44:00.000-07:00

PROS AND CONS OF BEING UNDERWEIGHT

I have many reputations at school, including, but not limited to: anorexic, weird, cool but fucked, shy, cross-dresser and fag. Most of these aren't true of course, but I find them amusing and I take the "cool but fucked" one as a compliment.

Today I'll adress the anorexic one. People think I'm anorexic because I'm really skinny. I'm not anorexic though, I just happen to be underweight. (I'm 5ft11 and 130 pounds, which gives me a BMI of 18.1. Under 18.5 is underweight). But the BMI was also invented by mathematician in the 1800s to try to find a relationship between height and weight of people who lived in the 1800s. Though maybe the version we use today has been updated by real doctors or something. Who knows.

Anyway, here are a list of pros and cons about being underweight. I'll start with cons because they're easier to think of.

CONS

- I'm always cold. ALWAYS. There's constantly a heater on in my room and I loose a lot of sleep because I have to turn it off at night (fire hazard) and it gets cold. This also keeps me from getting out of bed in the morning. This especially sucks because I enjoy sleeping naked.

- It's really hard to find pants my size. Hell, it's hard to find belts my size. Right now I'm a size 29 waist, though I can wear up to size 32 if I wear a tight belt. The problem is I'm tall, so if they fit my waist they usually don't reach my ancles.

- My bones crack a lot. I don't know if this is because of the lack of weight, but it seems that my bones like to crack more than normal.

- I get stomach aches after eating. Though this is just a recent development, and I have a suspicion that I have gastritis, but probably not.

- I'm fairly weak, weaker than the average person.

- People think I'm anorexic.

PROS

- Protruding bones are cool. I could spend hours playing with my hip bones or ribs or spine.

- I hardly ever have to buy new clothes, as I can fit into almost all of the ones I own. The only exceptions are pants that get too short.

- It's aesthetically pleasing to me. I know this is pretty bad but I can't help it, it's how I was raised. I enjoy being skinny.

- Sometimes I get compliments... sometimes...

That's pretty much it. As you can see there are way more cons than pros.

Don't be underweight, it sucks.

2010-03-20T13:29:00.000-07:00

Control (2007)

2010-03-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

I haven't had time to update in a while. I've been busy with this online Anthropology, Psychology and Sociology course. The one thing I've learned so far is that, in the nature vs nurture argument, though nature has a big roll, it almost always gets trumped by nurture.

In English class I'm doing the best project ever. A group of us are going to be making a sea monkey society based on the society in Brave New World. Here are two of the kids in my group (click and click).

They'll probably die, but I don't care. The sea monkeys I mean, not those kids.
We're giving the sea monkeys alcohol, but not a lot.

My Computer Science teacher gave me a bunch of harsh noise and power electronics CDs from the 80s. The ones I've listened to are really good. Here's a download link for one (click).

I really need to fix my recording set up. Right now it consists of two studio monitors and a recording interface on the floor and a microphone, no stand... yet.

I'm planning to get a table to put all the shit on, because as of now my mixes end up too bassy because I can't hear the bass right because the monitors are on the ground.

2010-02-21T19:24:00.000-08:00

I have conquered The Holy Mountain horizontally.

2010-02-20T21:03:00.000-08:00

Scans of some drawings. I need to draw more.

Also, I went scanner happy and scanned a bunch of things. I'll upload them later if I feel like it.

2010-02-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

I think that, for the most part, I live inside my head. What I mean is: I don't see the world as it is, I merely take cues from the world. Like improvising over some chords as opposed to playing directly from a score. Of course I don't fabricate my own facts, or believe in what cannot be proven; I trust science and I do not have faith in an unchanging dogma. I merely take what is presented to me and use it to fill in the rest. Sort of like seeing the universe as a writing prompt. I'm sure most people do this, whether they are aware of it or not.

One example I'm aware of is places. In my mind, the places I go are different than how they are in reality. There are many versions of each place: the place as it exists, the place as it exists in my mind and the place as it exists in the minds of everyone who has ever been to that place. These are all different places.

The more I visit a certain place, the more prominence it has in my mind. I have been to Chicago, so a form of Chicago exists in my mind. I go to my bathroom regularly, so my bathroom exists in my mind as a single place. Mentally, my bathroom is bigger than Chicago, since I have been to my bathroom more than I have been to Chicago. Obviously this is not true in real life, it's just that my bathroom has a more developed style and presence in my mind that Chicago does. This is applied to many things, the people I meed, the clothes I wear, even the websites I visit.

In this way I fabricate my own little world inside of my mind, in which all aspects are connected. Sometimes this world deviates from what is in the real word, but the changes are trivial enough that they do not go against science. The sciences are the lines in which I colour my world. Though it is acceptable to colour outside of the lines on occasion, it is irrational to do so if it alters the intended meaning of the work.

I obviously like my world better than the real one, though I accept that I have to face both of them.

2010-02-13T14:05:00.000-08:00

Some old photos that I forgot to upload.

2010-02-12T17:10:00.000-08:00

My cheeks are all swollen and I look like these people:

But these are making me feel better:

2010-02-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

Best part about getting my wisdom teeth removed: all the fun pills I get to take, staying at home to read fun books and watch movies, and getting to keep your teeth.

Worst part about getting my wisdom teeth removed: Missing art club and Frankenstein, my face is swollen up like a chipmunk and I haven't showered in a few days. So those are some old pictures.

2010-02-10T07:11:00.000-08:00

I got my wisdom teeth out. My face is all swollen and my mouth is all bloody and painful, but they let me keep the teeth.

I hope Mom gets back with my drugs soon.

2010-02-04T15:35:00.001-08:00

STUFF I LEARNED FROM DOING IRRESPONSIBLE THINGS

NOT EATING:

Not eating has taught me how fragile the human body is. I don't eat much normally; usually just some toast for breakfast, maybe a bagel for lunch and then a small dinner. I used to eat a lot less (no breakfast and no lunch, just a small dinner), but then I realized how bad it was to eat so little, and I had gotten really skinny, so I started eating a bit more.

Recently though I went for about 27 hours without eating. It wasnt on purpose, it was just a coincidence. I was running late for school so I just had a milkshake for breakfast. I was buying my lunch, and the line up at the cafeteria was so long that I decided to just get an energy drink at the corner store instead. I then went to a friend's house before going to see a movie. I drank a glass of water at her house and didn't have enough money to buy a ticket (a friend got me in) let alone some popcorn. The movie was long and painful and my stomach hurt the whole time. As soon as it was over I stumbled out into the light of the theatre and was completely confused. My eyes were taking a long time to adjust and my head and stomach hurt like hell. I felt like if I made a wrong move I'd physically fall apart, or my eyes would stop working or something of that nature. I ate as soon as I got home.

That, along with reading articles about starvation, made me realize that humans may be able to go through a lot, but stuff turns to shit after even just 24 hours of not eating.

DOING LSD:

Doing LSD made me realize just how powerful the brain is, and how much a tiny square of paper can affect you. When on LSD the things you experience seem just as real as everyday experiences; your senses are just lying to you. Which makes you think: how much of what your senses tell you daily is true? Is there some sort of malfunction in all human brains where we don't see or hear or feel what is actually there? Probably not, though that's the kind of stuff you think when you're on acid. Crazy stuff that can't be proven, or could be easily proven wrong.

Oh, and if you're contemplating trying acid, here are some tips:

1) Make sure you're in a happy mood, in a good place and with friends you trust. Acid amplifies feelings, so if you feel bad you'll just feel worse. If it's your first time DO NOT DO IT ALONE.

2) Make sure you have something to amuse yourself with: nice calm or happy music, nothing violent or bad sounding. Interesting and colourful movies; DO NOT PUT ON ERASERHEAD! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

3) Do not eat anything that might disagree with you before the trip. No Chinese food.

4) Make sure you are educated about the drug, and any other drugs you might do, before doing them. A great website for information is Erowid.

5) Take into account that it will last a long time. Anywhere from 6 to 12 hours, with 2 to 5 hours of "after effects" before you're back to normal. These could be shorter or longer, depending on the person and their experiences with acid and other drugs.

6) If you smoke weed, the first time you smoke after the acid it is likely that you will experience some acid like effects. This is normal, and will go away after smoking a few times.

2010-01-27T14:05:00.000-08:00

This is just a quick update. I have no media to share.

I joined the art club at school and we're going to be doing darkroom photography as well as silk screening (and some metal work, though I probably wont do that one.) This means that I'll hopefully be taking more pictures in the near future.

I am also starting an online course on February frist. It's a psychology, anthropology and sociology course, so it'll be fun but a lot of work.

I'm working on a new noise demo album thing that I'm going to put up in April. If all goes well it'll have 17 new songs. Plus I have to work regular school in there somehow (Especially math. I've just stopped doing math homework.)

Oh, I almost forgot, in my Computer Art course I'm designing a photography portfolio of all the analog work I've done so far, though I haven't decided if I'll actually put it online or not yet. Maybe I can find a way to host it on this blog...

So that's what I've been working on. As you can see I've been pretty busy, and things will only get busier. I hope to at least have some new photos up in February.

KILL THE BEAST!

2010-01-24T19:26:00.000-08:00

I just watched Nosferatu but played the Radiohead albums Kid A and OK Computer overtop of it.
It was beautiful.
Kid Dracula.
You should try it.

2010-01-22T19:42:00.000-08:00

Tom Waits is such a brilliant storyteller. I hear on the Glitter and Doom live CD there's 40 minutes of him just telling stories. I really want to hear that.

2010-01-12T18:46:00.000-08:00

I just need to let you know that listening to Sigur Ros and playing with incense is the best combination ever.

The incense sticks to my hands.

2010-01-09T12:24:00.000-08:00

This is how I feel.

I think I've been watching too much Skins.

2010-01-07T19:20:00.000-08:00

God, I really should update this more, though I haven't been taking pictures recently. I just don't know if anyone I know reads this blog. I should probably take out that link to in from my Facebook profile.

I've been feeling really bad lately, and I'll try my best not to turn this into a shit post about how I feel like shit. It's almost as if I'm completely lost and have no idea what's going on, like I can't even remember what I did last week, or who my friends are, or who I am. So that's why I feel the need to write things down right now. I guess that's why so many famous writers are alcoholics; it forces them to write in order to remember.

Food has started to disgust me. My girlfriend made me a cookie pie a few days ago, but as soon as I saw it I felt sick. I ended up eating a piece, and afterwards I felt horrible. Not physically sick, just bad. Is it possible to get blisters on top of blisters? I have blisters on my feet...

That's another thing I should talk about: my girlfriend. I don't think she knows about this blog, though I'll choose my words carefully incase she does. I really don't know why I'm dating her. I know things will go nowhere. She had a crush on me, and I just thought it would be better than being alone, but really nothing has changed.

My English teacher says it's the winter that makes people sad. I've heard that before: Seasonal affective disorder. Maybe that's why I feel bad. Maybe I just need more light.

"When you close your eyes, you see darkness. But if you keep them closed for long enough, and concentrate hard, you'll see light."

2009-12-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

I've been neglecting this blog for a while and I feel bad. I'm shooting a roll of film right now. Hopefully I'll finish it tomorrow night. I'm going to a New Years party. I guess that makes me not a loser.

I've also been busy with this Days of Noise project; making music, writing journals, thinking of how I'm going to present this...

So I guess I should leave something here. Something I made. So I will.

This is a song that I made with Seggie (click) in his bedroom with Sam (click) recording on his phone. I did some post production to make it sound fuller. That's all. Enjoy.

Illogical Objects

2009-12-11T21:31:00.000-08:00

2009-12-08T20:42:00.000-08:00

This is the album artwork form my English project titled Days of Noise.
I'm going to be writing a noise song every week for 19 weeks.
I'm on week four right now.

2009-12-08T20:36:00.000-08:00

The last of the sticker photos.

2009-12-07T16:59:00.000-08:00

I found some old sticker pictures that I took during the summer. The film was super expired so they came out all cool looking.

2009-12-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

Fuck I love pyramid studs. When I get some winter boots I'm going to try to put a shit load on them. Also that crystal ring is pretty cool. I've been obsessed with black and silver recently.

Also, fuck people who wear those stupid plastic pyramid studs that come in crazy neon colours like pink and green and yellow and shit (dark plastic pyramid studs are acceptable, like black and navy blue and pseudo-metal). Real pyramid studs are made of metal, because they are metal.

2009-11-30T20:32:00.000-08:00

GOD'S APARTMENT

- Who are you?

God.

- Can I ask you a question?

Yes.

- Which religion is correct?

I wouldn't know, I'm not religious.

- Oh

*God lights a cigarette*

- Well, what is the difference between life and death?

There is no difference.

- Then why should I not kill myself?

Because it wouldn't make a difference.

*pause*

- You smoke?

Yes.

- Why?

It gets stressful.

- Oh.

*pause*

- I never really pictured you living in an apartment.

It's all I require. I live alone.

- Don't you get lonely?

I have never met another God. I cannot crave what I haven't experienced.

- Oh. Yeah.

*pause. God puts out his cigarette.*

- Well, what do you do for fun?

I like going fishing. When I can find the time...

- Why do you put up with us?

Even I need a purpose. What else can I do?

- Nothing. No one can really do anything anymore.

2009-11-27T19:14:00.000-08:00

Sorry (to whoever even reads this) that I haven't updated in a while. I had a bad reaction to some cool drugs and have been collecting myself in the past few days. Well, I guess it's been a week now.

I saw Antichrist for the second time tonight and I think I understand it now. Well, at least more.
Here's my interpretation of the film:

[Spoiler alert]

The whole "Chaos Reigns" thing and "Nature is Satan's Church." I think one of the movies themes (apart from the obvious theme of misogyny) is how nature and the universe are chaotic and that order and structure are things that humans invented to try and make sense of the chaos. Or at least this is what "She" believes. This makes "Her" fear of nature more understandable, as it is more a fear of chaos.

I don't believe that the film has a misogynist viewpoint or supports misogyny.

First of all, the producer was a female (Meta Louise Foldager), and many women were involved with the film and worked very closely with Von Trier, including the misogyny researcher. Charlotte Gainsbourg (who played Her) said she was very proud to have been a part of it.

Secondly, everyone seems to forget the prologue of the movie (probably because they're all freaking out over the gore):

[SUPER SPOILER ALERT (highlight to reveal)]

"He" is greeted by hundreds of faceless women, who we assume were victims of misogynistic violence (especially witch burnings). These women were freed from their unjust deaths, because He (who is supposed to represent humanity, or "man") murdered She (who is supposed to represent misogyny). She is unknowingly the epitome of what 16th century misogynists believed women to be: Satanic and inherently evil. When she is killed, the misogyny has been overcome. It's an odd metaphor though, it's sort of like killing a cancer patient to symbolically show the end of cancer.

In conclusion: If this film were directed and written by a woman it would be considered a great piece of feminist cinema, but it was written and directed by Lars Von Trier and is therefore considered a misogynist piece of crap. I suggest you go see this film.

If you're still hesitant about the explicitness, you should see it at least watch the first part for the beautiful cinematography then leave shortly after "He" comes down from the attic.

Oh, and here are some stills:

2009-11-22T12:18:00.000-08:00

More black and white photos.

2009-11-13T14:16:00.000-08:00

Black and White. 35mm. 400 ISO.

2009-11-11T13:39:00.000-08:00

Black and white.

2009-11-10T19:03:00.000-08:00

More film. I don't like the colour ones as much as my black and white ones. They're much better.

2009-11-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

"Don't let poets lie to you."

Björk talking about her TV.

2009-11-09T15:17:00.000-08:00

Film pictures. Beautiful film.

2009-11-04T19:41:00.000-08:00

The last of the black and white film pictures. More are being processed right now, but they're also giving me a disk of the scans, so I wont have to scan them myself. Awesome.

2009-11-03T14:51:00.000-08:00

These are the last of the cottage pictures.

I have a ton of film (a roll of B&W and a roll of colorr) on the way.

Also, I have an idea for a photography project: I have three different types of incense. I'm going to get three rolls of film (colour) and then hold them over the burning incense, trapping the smoke in the film canister. Then I'll let them sit for a while (in the smoke) and then I'll shoot them and see what happens. Hopefully it'll make something cool. I held the colour roll that i'm getting developed right now over candle smoke, so i'll see if it does anything.

2009-11-02T19:56:00.000-08:00

I'm way to lazy to scan these pictures I have right now. And I'm getting more processed. Oh joy.

I'll post them soon though... soon...

Oh, and those screen caps are from The Cement Garden

2009-10-31T12:33:00.000-07:00

Even more shitty digital photos. I presented the slide-show in media arts. No one clapped. But that's okay, because almost all of the other kids in my class are just taking it because it's an easy credit.

Also, I found footage of the new Crystal Castles song that they've been playing live recently. It's called Intimate.

2009-10-26T19:17:00.000-07:00

More shitty digital. I got some film developed though. The black and white ones I was talking about earlier. They look much better.

2009-10-25T19:59:00.001-07:00

This is beautiful.

New Fever Ray music video for Stranger Than Kindness.

2009-10-24T13:11:00.000-07:00

More crappy digital photos.

2009-10-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

I tried my hand at digital photography.
Oh, these are all for a media arts project (more to come).

2009-10-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

The phrase "better than The Beatles" gets thrown around a lot these days (see The Shaggs), but I have a feeling that this band deserves it.

Seriously, I can't stop listening to this song.

2009-10-18T13:59:00.001-07:00

I wont be updating much for a while. My laptop is broken and it might be some time before I get a new one. I'm posting from my mom's computer right now.

Oh, and here are some Röyksopp videos that I can't stop watching (incidentally, they're the one's with Karin Dreijer Andersson's vocals):

2009-10-10T18:10:00.001-07:00

This is a stop motion video that Katharine and I made for Media Arts (Communication Technologies). I think it turned out well. The photos were actually really good quality that got ruined by compression. I don't know how to export high quality videos from iMovie.

2009-10-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

NUIT BLANCHE: A REVIEW OF THE NIGHT

(this is a work of fiction)

It’s approaching 11pm and I’m in a cab watching the little numbers slowly creeping upwards on the fare calculator. I try to recall the evening as I feel a hangover starting. The whole story started the evening before when Pascal, his sister and I saw Fever Ray at the Kool Haus. The concert had ended and I still hadn’t come back to earth. The mixture of incense and massive amounts of fog had created the atmosphere of an ancient time in another world.

"Wanna go to a party tomorrow?” Pascal asks me.

I accept. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere anyway. I heard it was going to rain for Nuit Blanche. I stayed at Pascal’s house that night. We smoked weed out of a homemade light bulb vaporizer and he gave his sister two benzos for a pill of E. Nothing interesting happened that night, so I wont go into any more detail.

The next morning we had a big breakfast of pancakes and various other things around the house. Pascal had an omelet if I remember correctly. We watched Caillou in French. Pascal was still receiving calls and text messages from Dani, his girlfriend. The party was moved from Tavi’s house to Jostein’s. I was happy about this. I had been to Jostein’s house before, and his father wasn’t a threat to me.

We left for Jostein’s house around four or five pm. When we got there Jostein, his little brother and Dani were in his room playing with some rats. The music was constantly switching from psychedelic ambiance to Finnish folk metal. Jostein was counting his tabs of acid, while Dani was contemplating how many she should take. Pascal had already informed the group that he had a sufficient amount of chronic and one pill of ecstasy just in case.

“So I’m thinking I should do two,” Said Dani, talking about the acid.

“On your first time?” Asked Pascal, in a doubtful tone.

“Yeah,”

“On your first time?” Repeated Pascal.

“Wait, if I have a low tolerance for other stuff, does it mean I’ll have a low tolerance for acid?” Asked Dani.

“Well, yeah,” Pascal said. He didn't want her to do two. He realized that there were only 6 tabs. Jostein was doing three, the last three had to be split between Dani, Pascal and Damien, who hadn’t arrived yet. I was told they saved a tab for me, but I had to leave at 11pm, and I hadn’t planned on doing any acid. If Dani had two, Pascal wouldn’t get any.

Damien arrived. I had never met him before. He was nicer than he looked. The acid was divvied up and Pascal gave me a shampoo bottle full of some clear liquid he said was vodka, because he “felt bad” that I didn’t get any acid. Shortly after Damien arrived Pascal had convinced Dani to give him the last tab. After a few swigs from the mystery bottle it became apparent that what I was drinking was far from vodka, if in fact it had been vodka at one point.

“What else is clear?” I asked, “Well, gin is, but this isn’t gin.”

“A lot of things are clear,” answered Pascal, being the mystic that he always pretended to be.

“Wait, this is Dragon’s moonshine, isn’t it?” I asked. This night brought up more questions than answers.

Pascal just laughed: “maybe.”

At least I knew what I was drinking now. I chugged about half of it, and by the next thing I knew the room more than doubled in population. There was a dubious amount of people who I didn’t even know. It looked as if they all came in at once. We moved the party from Jostein’s room to the basement, where the children could roll their joints in peace. Once I got a good view of the crowd I immediately picked out the kids that I could tell I would hate in order to stay away from them during the evening. Luckily, I could only find one. His name was Bobby (or at least, that’s what I remember his name being) and he was very tall and had a nose that didn’t look like it had any business being on his face. So I ignored him.

Dani was out earlier that day buying some paints and paintbrushes, so we decided to paint. She grabbed some paper and lay it down on the floor. Jostein started freaking out about how we were going to make a mess, but Dani convinced him that the paint was water-soluble and it didn’t matter. I could tell that the acid was starting to kick in.

Damien came and sat down next to me, proclaiming that he wanted to paint as well. We decided that we were going to make our own mini Nuit Blanche. So we painted. We used mostly yellows, blues and whites. Dani’s brilliant idea was to make green. She mixed the hues with an air of pseudo-elegance while I sat there writing the word “cunt” over and over again in paint. It was then that the person who I knew that I would hate for the rest of my life came.

Her name was Allison, though when she first started talking to me I was almost positive she said her name was Haiti. She wore a leather jacket, tights, and a pink skirt-like thing. She had some sort of “artsy” shit on her face that was supposed to be some sort of eyeliner pattern. I could tell from the get go that she would be nothing but a bitch to me and I called her out on that, and apologized for it shortly after. I then may or may not have told her that I wanted to her to die.

Damien and I had a very in depth conversation while we were painting. I forget what it was about. Every time I looked at him he’d be smiling at me. It was probably the acid. Jostein’s dad then called us up for dinner, which I had none of. I wasn’t blind yet.

I was trying to stay inconspicuous, standing in a semi-familiar kitchen, staring at a bunch of kids I’ve never met before eat a bunch of food. It wasn’t working. I was standing next to Damien who was holding hands with that Haiti bitch. He later informed me that they had never met and she was piss-drunk. Fucking parasite. Damien kept forgetting I was standing next to him, and asked me where I came from. Jostein’s dad came up to us and asked us if we wanted some food or “a punch in the face.” I took his joke a bit to seriously and went to stand behind Dani who was, at this point tripping balls. I managed to swipe some bustle sprouts off her after Pascal said that “those green things were meant to be for everybody.” She had a meatball on her for and informed me that she “fucking hated this fucking meatball and she never wanted to fucking see it ever again.” So I kept on taking it and putting it back on her plate, no matter where she tried to hide it. Pascal and I talked about how we wanted to burn the house down and kill everyone.

Did I mention the French kids? There were some French exchange students who looked completely oblivious to all of the drug use that was going on around them. I went to hang out and smoke with them on the front porch, but their novelty disappeared as soon as I realized that they knew none of the cool French bands that I knew, like “Le Le” and “Kap Bambino.” Though they did inform me that Champagne was a real place in France, and not something that I had just made up. Also I was informed that that Bobby kid I decided that I hated drank some of the Dragonshine too. Though, unlike me, he had only taken a few swigs off it and was already acting like a complete douche.

Tavi decided that she wanted to go see Nuit Blanche and I started talking to this really nice girl named Katie (not to be confused with that Haiti bitch). Out of all the people at this party, she probably wished the least harm to befall upon me. I blessed her and said “may death come swiftly to your enemies.”

We were then on the streetcar. Tickets were supplied via Pascal and everyone was having a jolly good time. Except for Pascal, who was babysitting Dani because, even though she thought that one tab wouldn’t be enough, she was on another planet. Haiti was sitting next to Damien (still holding hands) while Damien was smiling at me whenever I looked over.

We got off the streetcar somewhere close to the Much Music place and started walking. The plan was to wander around until art found us. The first thing we saw was some scary ghosts and that crazy hallucination machine. After careful inspection we concluded that the line was too long and we didn’t really need to visit the hallucination machine in the state we were in. By this time Haiti was gone and Dani and I stopped talking about different ways in which we were going to kill her.

We ditched the Frenchies along with some other girls and Bobby to hang out on some bleachers next to an intersection. We watched a movie that consisted of, from what I could tell, seeing as I wasn’t wearing my contacts: a man getting out of a pool which then turned into the Washington monument, which then turned into a burning table that burned backwards to show a table with tea and a book on it. It then showed a busy highway and a different screen that we assumed was in Japan. It might have also shown a clock or a metronome. I forget. I had been begging Damien for a smoke, and he finally re-lit his half used cigarette so I could take a much-wanted drag.

While sitting on the platform thing I started calling some friends. None of them were at Nuit Blanche and I proceeded to tell them they were losers because of that. I then told them I loved them over and over until they hung up. Some imposters showed up and I called them out on it.

We started walking because Jostein was going to pick up some MDMA or something from some kid somewhere. It was nearing eleven, so I started bugging Pascal to get me a taxi. We were waiting outside a hotdog stand when Dani said:

“Damien, you know, you’re like the perfect person,”

This caused us to laugh, seeing as Damien has blond hair and blue eyes.

“No, I mean, he’s completely pure,” she went on “Not like you,” She pointed at me, “Your hair is brown, and that’s because you’ve bred with a nigger.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked her.

“You know what I’m talking about.” She replied. “But you’re beautiful. Like an angel. You’re made out of porcelain. We can’t keep you in the cold too long, because you’ll crack and fall apart and then the tea that is inside of you will spill out everywhere.”

“Well, that’s true,” I said.

We gravitated towards some smoke in the distance, following a closed down road littered with Pillsbury Doughboy corpses. The smoke reminded me of the fog at the Fever Ray concert.

“I really want some incest,” I said. Fully aware that was confusing incest with incense. Damien and Jostein burst out laughing.

“You know, like, some good lemon incest,” I said “the pure stuff,”

We sang along to the music that was playing and started walking to what we thought was another art exhibit, but what turned out to be an ad for 5 Gum. We gave it the finger. It was almost eleven now, so Pascal called me a cab and I got in.

“Hey, I’d like to go to Kingston and St. Clair” I said to the cabby.

“We should take the highway, trust me,” He told me, “there is way to much traffic. Why do they even have this? Every weekend they shut down the city to have some sort of festival.”

“It’s good for tourism, I guess,” I suggested, not completely paying attention to him. Trying to make my creeping hangover go away.

“Bleh, there’s can’t really be that many tourists,” He said, “They all just want to come to look at the lights.”

Which is true. None of my friends nor me got any significant benefit from it. We didn’t even understand what the art was supposed to represent. I’m not sure that anyone did, unless they really tried to pay attention and learn about that. But most people don’t do that. They just want to get drunk. They don’t have time for abstract concepts. They just want to come see the lights.

2009-10-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

I put a bunch of songs i made together in this demo thing. You can download it here (click).

My MySpace is here (click).

2009-10-03T23:57:00.000-07:00

Fever Ray was brilliant. I may write a review, but it would pretty much be describing how awesome it was. If you ever get the chance to see her, do it. Also I wrote the best Nuit Blanche review ever, but I may or may not post it because it might make some people very angry with me.

Also, I have an obsession with this song:

2009-10-02T15:56:00.000-07:00

Soviet Punks

via English Russia (click)

Also, you should watch and love this movie:

I'm really excited for Fever Ray tonight. I just found her cover of Stranger Than Kindness by Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds. I never really liked Nick Cave, but her version is so amazing. I can't stop listening to it.

2009-10-02T12:32:00.000-07:00

It was my birthday a few days ago. yay.

Riona (click) made me this awesome birthday picture of Emily, herself and me.

I'm (obviously) the angry looking one on the left. Emily is in the middle and Riona is on the right.

Oh, and I'm seeing Fever Ray tonight. I hear she's amazing live.

2009-09-29T14:18:00.000-07:00

I was so incredibly bored with school that I decided to re-edit some really old photos from last year. I think I've been looking at too much pop art lately. I tried to make these look dark, and pop artish but without that cliche, teenager messing with photoshop look (I'm pretty sure I failed at that). They're not my best work and I probably wont make anything else like this.

2009-09-26T16:49:00.001-07:00

This is awesome.

2009-09-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

I got the contact sheet back a few days ago for the B&W photos, though I haven't gotten any developed yet. From what I can tell they look pretty good, though I was a dope and thought the film was jammed when I was shooting, so I opened it up to check (in the dark of course), and saw no jam, so i closed it and it wound forward. Turns out that it wasn't a film jam, it was just low battery. So in the end I only got about 14 or 15 pictures (i forget) on a roll of 26.

But the good news is I found an awesome blog/zine/thing that's releasing a compilation of very short punk/noise songs on Monday (which also happens to be my birthday and World Rabies Day)

Their "company" is called Methodist Leisure (click) and their blog is Eat Yr Hands (click). Though their blog hasn't been updated in a while, so if you want to follow their escapades you should sign up for the mailing list or friend them on MySpace (click) or something.

Oh, and here's some noise:

2009-09-18T14:22:00.000-07:00

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing Marilyn Manson perform a fairly short set at the Air Canada Centre. Damn ACC making their shows end at 11pm...

Actually, it was one of the most mediocre concerts I've been to ever. But maybe I'm just used to crazy things, like giving the crowd hard liquor and bleeding on stage. Manson was pretty tame, and so was the crowd. I'm pretty sure he burned a Bible once, and then he was going to do some coke, but he couldn't find a Canadian dollar bill. Haha, very funny Manson, at least our dollars don't get ruined in the washing machine.

I'm pretty sure the reason I didn't like it that much was because more than half of the songs he played were off his newest album which I haven't even bothered to listen to. After hearing "We're In America," I couldn't bring myself to listen to any more.

I also had to take out my contacts right before the concert because there was a rip in one and it was hurting my eye. Luckily Kate wears glasses, so we were passing them back and forth like a joint the whole show. From what I saw, Manson changed clothes for every new song and threw away about 7 different mics.

The one part of the show that I enjoyed was when he played Sweet Dreams (with a bunch of candles on the stage) which lead straight into Rock N' Roll Nigger. Unfortunately I was too far away to take good pictures, and I only had my cellphone on my anyway, but during Sweet Dreams I was motivated enough to take a few blurry, digital zoom'd shots.

(Those lights in front of the drums are the candles)

All in all it was worth it I guess. It would have been better than sitting at home all night on the internet, or seeing U2.